Mother-in-Law Suites: A Family Caregiving Alternative to Consider
More and more families are living under one roof. The reasons for this vary: For some families, the recent economic hit has forced them to consolidate. They’ve found they can share expenses and come out ahead. For others, mom becomes the live-in babysitter due to a divorce or parents having to work overtime. For me, my mom’s health had declined (she had Parkinson’s, which she managed for years, and then we started noticing signs of dementia) and I knew she still wanted her independence, but she needed someone close by and assistance with daily activities.
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A mother-in-law suite (that’s a common name for an apartment or living space designated to a family member) makes sense. Most adults want more than just a bedroom and maybe a small bath. I wanted to give my mom a “mini-house.” We moved her couch, her piano, her kitchen table, her books, her knick-knacks, scaled down her bedroom furniture and somehow fit it into the space of a double garage we renovated into her “apartment.” She even had a little outside sitting area where she could enjoy the backyard. I did everything I could to replicate her house–even hanging her pictures in the same order and placement.
For many families, an apartment or “mom-suite” is an affordable alternative to an assisted living facility or other types of care home. We supplemented our family care with part-time home health aides as my mom’s health continued to decline. I could check on her throughout the day but she also had some privacy (and so did I). We shared most meals, but she could toodle around her apartment and enjoy her freedom.
Factors to Consider Before Building a “Mother-in-Law Suite:”
How much room does “Mom” need and how should the rooms be divided?
Where would a suite fit–on your property and with the layout of your house?
How could be arranged to give the most privacy to everyone?
What safety factors need to be designed? Wheelchair access?
A stairlift to the main floor of the home? Shower/tub bathroom access?
Is a kitchenette needed or will family meals be shared?
How will this space be used later–if your loved one goes into a care facility or dies?
How will this affect your home value and what can you do to enhance this?
How much will this addition cost?
Can you use existing space and add to it or will you have to start from scratch?
Can you do any of the work yourself? (Painting, plastering, laying floors or carpet, etc.,)
What are the building codes in your area?
Be sure to have some frank discussions about day-to-day life. Talk about privacy, eating schedules, laundry, errands, child-care issues, etc., and how all these will be handled so that there aren’t assumptions that can cause major problems later.
By talking over these major factors, you can design a safer, more efficient apartment–and establish a foundation for your new relationship and learning how to live together in harmony and respect.
Our mother-in-law suite was a great addition to our home. My mother lived with us for close to three years and I was able to give her a home passing. Later, the space became a teen suite, and we even considered it as a rental space. The initial investment was worth the time we got to spend as a family.
Before you start checking out care facilities for your loved one, consider adding an addition onto your home. A mother-in-law suite can add years of family togetherness–and to borrow the phrase from MasterCard–that’s priceless.
